What is the Best Way to Talk to my Children About Final Wishes?

As you make estate plans, you have many sensitive decisions to make with regard to your children. If you have more than one child, bring the family closer together and make the careful decisions about how your estate will be settled. Many a family rift has occurred when the children of a recently deceased parent are faced with the manner in which the estate is to be settled.

An eldest child may simply have expected that they were the one to handle the management of this task with the help of the family attorney. Only when the will is read, it turns out a long lost sister is in charge of things. This might be a slightly exaggerated example, but the truth is that many arguments ensue in the wake of the loss of a loved one. Everyone is already upset and grieving. Getting news of something even more upsetting with regard to financial and material matters can only make things worse.

Perhaps, understanding this is what has made you realize the importance of getting your financial affairs in order with as much control of things as possible. You would not want your estate to be probated by a court in an impersonal way by dying without leaving a proper will. Yet, even if you put your best efforts forward to make plans for things to be as simple as possible, you do not want a family member, especially a child to feel offended at a decision you made.

Decide to Discuss Things

In the process of estate planning, if you choose to discuss things with your children it could raise issues due to sensitive matters as it is. You probably would not be doing them any good trying to prepare them for the fact that you have made the youngest child your executrix during a dinner conversation. If a decision has already been made without explaining the reasons for your choices there is probably no point anyway.

When you make plans for your estate, just how much should you include your children in the process? If you have two grown children and you have already designated your spouse as your life insurance beneficiary and your estate's executor, then there is probably no need to involve them. Things would seem to be planned in a rather intuitive manner. The husband inherits his spouse's share of the estate until the time of his death.

Things are not always this clear cut in families. As a senior citizen who has already experienced the death of a spouse, if you are now making estate plans for your surviving family members it may not be easy to make these choices. One child may have been more deserving or responsible for having the designation of beneficiary than the others, despite being the youngest or middle child. This is where it could be easy to simply go ahead and make estate plans as you choose.

You can complete your will with the help of your attorney and have the peace of mind that your children will not have the stress of losing their last surviving parent without a will, which is often a situation where one child will not agree with another as to what your real final wishes were. As a result, a lingering family feud ensues. Although you need to use judgment, unless there is some reason your eldest child is not going to be designated as your primary beneficiary, there is probably no reason to talk at length to your children about your final wishes unless something personal warrants it.

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